I think filling your life with good things is important on a whole host of levels.

If your partner loves you he would want you to be happy and not be controlled by the addiction that controls him. I guess like many he struggles to deal with himself and to deal with the feelings of another as well can be too much for both. Seeing that you can still do good things for you may lighten his load a little.

In your reply earlier you say it is difficult being with a CG and it is, that is why it is so important to do things that build you up. You can’t run an old boiler without fuel and you need your strength. Addiction takes from us it doesn’t give back, put back in what it takes out.

Looking after you means that you start to recognise your own importance to yourself and that happiness does not depend on the happiness of another but that it is a bonus if the other also comes to live with happiness.

It proves that you can accept that you are not responsible for actions of another or the consequences of those actions and that you do in fact recognise that you cannot control the other but you can control your self by making better choices. You can decide what happens next, whether your day will be a better one or not.

I’d be surprised if your CG couldn’t tell a good story, mine certainly could, some very elaborate ones as well !! I found a difficulty in opening up as I thought I should be the one who appeared to cope and didn’t spend enough time “focusing” “looking after” me. I have always worked through a lot of things within myself through posting to others.

Do you do nice things together ? without the dreaded G word making an appearance in every conversation, perhaps for now at least the G conversations are just to difficult for you to have together and better experiences are there to be had and good memories can be made for both of you. Take some pleasure in not allowing it to interfere with the good things in your lives. Possibly it is time to separate it out and exclude gambling from your life instead of it leaving you feeling that you have been excluded from its life.

Something else you may read here from time to time is that happiness is the best revenge you can have on this addiction – I (if I remember to do it now) take a great satisfaction in secretly and often openly holding up two fingers in my mind for every day that I am happy, each day that gambling addiction does not have a say in how I am feeling.

The best way to see if it works is to try it out on yourself, it doesn’t have to be anything massive, small things but lots of them can be just as effective !

Try it you don’t have anything to lose

Jenny x