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I am sorry that things are so difficult for you just now – tho’ it is good to know you are still alive and breathing. Perhaps you think it’s not right to write negative things at this time, which is ‘supposed’ to be so ‘happy’? Or you wish you had something positive to write, but cannot think of anything positive? I think it often helps to write out those negative thoughts and feelings rather than letting them go around and around in your head. Sometimes getting it all on paper brings a bit of clarity here and a bit of insight there and then maybe your words will spark someone else off in a way that will move things on a little in a good way. So, if you think it would be good to have your struggle heard and thought about by others who care, do post it all on here and see what can come out of it. I know there are no easy answers, no magic wands, but don’t bottle it all up on your own.
Wishing you well,