Welcome to our world , we all been there done that but maybe instead of bearing yourself congratulate yourself as it’s hard to admit having a problem.
However every problem has always have a solution you just have to see the bigger picture .
Life is certainly worth living and debts will waky as be there when we have a society who is based on materialism . This is the rute to all of our problems as we want more and more all the time . However when we stop wanting more and just be satisfied with what we have we will live a much happier life.
It’s not your fault whatsoever . If you made the decision to stop now you will stop it will be a hard journey maybe but it certainly will be a happy one .
Look in to meditation that helped me allot and maybe start reading educational books anything that takes your mind off.
Silence the mind and don’t worry about the future what is important is now and here .
Hope I am making sense lol