#3611
Dunc
Keymaster

Hi ailujym

Firstly ailujym I can’t tell you what to do, what I can do is give you my perspective on what you’ve written. I’m also not a friends and family member I’m a compulsive gambler in recovery.

ailujym your heading “Is there such thing as a winning player” the simple answer is there isn’t a true answer. Recreational gambler will win and lose, it’s no different to them having a few beers and being fine and then having one too many and having a hangover

Gambling isn’t about money, sounds daft but I believe you already know this… sure a recreational gambler will win a bit maybe loose more but their walk away go home, go to the doctors, spend time with their family, work and be like anyone else and won’t affect anybody else

Unfortunately we then have the other side, the problematic compulsive side that is progressive in its nature The side where gambling is taking up so much time, altering our behaviours, we stop to look after our own wellbeing, we see family situations as a hindrance to our gambling, we stop sleeping, were deflect, minimize, maximize, lie, cajole and of course were have systems in place to ensure our futures….

Can anyone say he’s a compulsive… in my opinion its irrelevant. It’s how it’s affecting you ailujym, it’s how his actions are making you feel, Its is this the life you want… if he thinks that this life is fine and you don’t then ultimatums, threats will just serve a negative purpose and possibly give him a greater level of justification to make his gambling better whilst potentially making his behaviours and characteristics worse.

ailujym keep talking, please make sure your support is solid especially if you do move. Protect yourself financially and emotionally

Were always here for you