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#47713
MurrS7
Participant

thank you for taking the time to read my entire thread. I hope you took something out of it as much as I took out Of your reply. It means A lot. You hit everything right on the head with that post. The reason why I’m not chasing the 30 is because it’s too deep of a hole. I remember like it was yesterday where there wasn’t a 0 in front of that 3, May 14. They always said about chasing losses.. keep chasing and you’ll add 0’s to your current number , give me a few more years and I’ll add a 0 to that 30 if I keep gambling. Like you said even if I got the money back, I would say just say.. because I’ve done it numerous times.. ok I’m even now.. I’ll play smarter, I’ll treat t like a job .. make a couple hundred a day.. ya that fails every time. I am completely powerless over gambling as soon as I place my first bet. truthfully if you told me it could get this bad a few months ago I wouldn’t have believed it… now I see just how much gambling can strip you of.. put you in financial crisis.. play with money that isnt yours.. ruin your mental state.. value of a dollar.. it’s a beast that does not discriminate. I still get major urges.. everyday. But I know I have to be stronger than them and accept the money is gone.. gamble free days mean much more than getting that money back. Because if I got it back, it would put me right back to where I don’t wanna be.. even and convincing my mind it’s ok to start again. I’d rather be where I am now.. flighting this battle and overcoming this, the money will be made back eventually.. the problem has to get fixed more than anything. Megnha and Jen have been a. Huge support for me and evehrone else that’s took the time to read and comment on my journal. It really helps knowing others are going through what we are, because no one around me understands this addiction.. they just don’t get it. This forum has helped me and sometines I read my whole thread again to see the pain it has caused me in just a short 12 months. I’m so determined to make the next 12 months gambke free. And pay off my debt slowly. Congrats on day 3 man. Just keep going, dont look back. relapses are part of this like you said.. but we can beat it through hard work and using resources around us. i drove near the casino to meet a friend today.. of course I had the urge. I didn’t go, that to me is a victory by irself. Keep on fighting… we are stronger than this.. thanks for reading man.