But in the face of such adversity you are still standing ! all be it with a fragility that must seem like it hangs in the balance quite frequently.
I sometimes get the impression that some people think that as the addiction has in a sense left our lives, that the turmoil it creates in many areas of our lives leaves with it – just like that.
It leaves a legacy, in my humble opinion of destruction, all the things that have happened to you seem to link back to someone else’s compulsive gambling, a not very nice person who chose to allow his addiction to thrive instead of having the guts to stand up to it despite the damage to others as well as its owner.
It is truly amazing that despite everything life has thrown at you that you are still carrying on and it has not beaten you, even if it sometimes feels that way, or maybe even most of the time.
It says a lot about you that you don’t want to seek revenge etc many people would, I think I’d be out for putting his head on a sharp stick – whether it achieved anything or not !!
You haven’t given up, you are still doing this, in the way that right now is the best or only option for you. All the counselling and venting in the world cannot solve practicalities but it helps to keep a clear head clear and look at different approaches to life’s problems.
You may not notice this yourself but I sensed more strength and resolve in your recent posts regardless of there being maybe not much change in your physical circumstances.
Please don’t give up now