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I was also thinking of the why. Why me why not someone else why why why. But all these questions, even if I get an answer, won’t change anything to the situation I’m in now.

What you are seeking is rational answers to something that is not rational. Even if there was a reason, would it matter for the situation you are in now?  This is your brain trying to rationalize its own behavior (cognitive dissonance).

Your brain is a complicated thing, but basically you have a primitive brain and the thinking brain. With this and more situations those are in a struggle with each other. Your primitive part is driven by emotions, the rational part by reason.

Hence when you place a bet, your primitive brain wins the battle from your rational brain. When the high is over your rational brain is back in action and you think why why why. 

In no way I’m trying to say you should not pursue your quest for answers, just don’t forget you live in the now.