Hi Adele

I meant an update on ‘you’.

I saw elsewhere that you know your husband has been on the site.

This is ‘my’ experience and although I know that others have done the same, it is no way designed to be a statement of how it should be done. What you decide to do is entirely up to you. When a CG wants to use this site as a place to learn and talk about their addiction it can be useful if there is an agreement that the F&F loved one doesn’t read the CG’s posts. The reason being that CGs can, obviously, say things that are controversial because their memories don’t necessarily coincide with the truth and the F&F member, loved one, can feel the need to criticize or correct, thus removing the protection and freedom of speech that anonymity offers. I do know that many CG do read the F&F forum and I also know they can find it very painful but generally speaking, I think, this is not as problematic as the other way round. A CG ‘can’ use the forum as a means of manipulation and I am definitely not saying that this is inevitable.

I hope that makes sense – but if it doesn’t you know where to come to and how to post your question.