#1859
vera
Participant

Hi Adele!
I hope you are recovering from your pneumonia and that your hubby is taking it easy after his accident. I do believe things happen for a reason even though we may not be clear as to the reason at the time, or indeed ever. I doubt if there is any such thing as a co-incidence!
I can fully relate to “acting normally” while in the throes of addiction. As a CG, I learned well how to adjust my mask to appear normal and managed to fit in to lots of situations where I felt a total outsider and most of what was happening went over my head. Gambling numbs a CG and it most likely does the same to the people close to the CG. My question is which came first, the need to gamble or the need to wear masks?
Just being the Devil’s advocate here, for the sake of wider debate!
I would be very interested to hear how your marriage counselling goes. In hindsight, it is something we, as a couple should have done many years ago, but we survived without it….(Many people “survived” concentration camps too!)…I go to Gambling Counselling, but I have reservations about it….My husband went berserk when he heard the counsellor had requested to see him. His reaction is unprintable. He clearly says that my gambling has absolutely nothing to do with him, and scoffs at the idea of “recovery”, but having said that, he has claimed all throughout our marriage that most issues and conflicts are one sided . In other words , he lives in denial and I get the blame when things go wrong…most of the time refuses to communicate directly. He waits for weeks or months and when least expected he lashes out in rage (usually in company) and betrays or belittles me by making paranoid or sarcastic comments about my “infamous” past!
Very supportive!!! Just the excuse a CG needs to run for cover! lol!
Anyway, life goes on and I need to remind myself that I alone am responsible for the damage gambling created in my life, and believe you me, to describe that damage as painful is a gross understatement!
So, on that note, I will sign off by saying
“Just for today, I will not gamble!”because gambling solves none of Life’s problems!
Keep posting Adele. I pray for you every day!