#1863
san250
Participant

Well done on getting through your first session. I’m sure most of the therapy is very similar and follows ‘models’. Having been through marriage counselling and individual counselling, I believe its important to listen to your body, it already knows the answers. I’d like to share a little of my experience with you. In my marriage counselling we found out the ‘background’ to our problems, where family scripts were written (how we follow patterns set down in families), it was interesting to find out how we think and follow certain things. Communication, how we ‘playout’ roles, he says one thing, I do the same thing everytime, that sort of thing. I found the marriage counselling interesting but seemed to deal with his problems more than mine. We were ‘set’ homework and this was hard, again after 24 year we were set in our ways. For me, more progress was made when I went to counselling on my own. I was able to open up more, and it certainly challenged how I was feeling and enabled me to move on faster. One thing that really helped us, was to arrive and leave the counselling by separate means. This enabled us to have the space we needed, firstly to get our heads ready for the session and especially afterwards when your head is spinning with all the information and observations. Sometimes we would meet on neutral ground, a restaurant or cafe, 30 minutes after the session to discuss what had happened, sometimes not. For me, I believe, the counselling helped to unravel the ‘spaghetti’ that our marriage had become. Our therapist described it as a plate of spaghetti and we were there to pick the strands out She said we had to become separate people to decide whether we would come back together on a different footing, with new communication techniques in place, or to decided if we were going to go our separate ways. For us this process took 9 months. I wish you lots of luck and am sending you lots of strength, take care, San xx