#3221
velvet
Moderator

Hi Ali
In your first email you mention self-banning so I suspect Jenny felt that the idea was being pushed around by your partner.

Giving information to an active CG as to where he/she can find the support they need is something that F&F can actively get involved with. Perhaps you could look into the self-banning facility at the casino and write the information for him on a piece of paper so that he can look at it in his own time. I don’t suggest you tell him directly as his addiction will probably see you as threatening it and another row could ensue. He, of course is the only one who can actually do the self-banning which is part of him taking responsibility for his own life.

I also believe in printing off the ‘gamblers anonymous 20 questions’ (Google – gamblers anonymous 20 questions) and leaving them for the CG to find – he might screw it up and throw it away but many CGs are not aware that the problem they have is recognised and the 20 questions can be a seed sown in a confused mind. Whatever his reaction to your suggestions, in my opinion, it is best not to over-react. The light bulb moments for CGs are seldom, if ever, when the loved one F&F is suggesting ways forward because the addiction uses such conversations as a way into argument which can be turned into an excuse to gamble.

Keep posting. I hope to ‘meet’ you in a group soon

Velvet