Thank you so much all for your support and comments. I will have to comment later in more detail but have read your responses. I am feeling much better now.
According to my CG, (who is still away) he has been *good* while in UK. According to him the gambling problem there is much worse as there are places to make bets, slot machines around every corner – I had no idea. I am pleased he is talking to me about that and he attended both SA and GA meetings there – very good I think –
BUT – the important part – ME! I am trying to take care of me ! Last night I attended a new Brazilian Jujitsu class – 2 in fact – because I want to improve my range of fighting. I had been wanting to go for a while but of course I put it off because I am always laster than last. But yesterday i felt COMPELLED to go (even though I had already trained for 1.5 hrs with my MMA trainer!). I knew I needed to do it for myself. I ended up staying til almost 10:30pm and while I felt a little guilty (sorry!) once I got home, I knew I needed to do this for myself. It felt good. Like I was in a little bubble away from everything and just focused on me. I am sore today for sure but feel good that I bumped myself up the list. And everything at home was ok. Imagine that?
As for my CG, we’ll see how he is when he returns. From what he is telling me on the phone, he has been working very hard to stay sober attend meetings etc. But I know I need to distance myself from his recovery and focus on ME!!
Yeah ME! so glad I finally paid some attention to myself..
Thank you my lovely friends…I really need you and so happy to know you are there when I falter.. All your suggestions and advice has been heard. Loud and clear.
love to you all