#1375
velvet
Moderator

Hi B
What was different about New Year? What was there at Christmas that was not there at New Year?
To the CG in recovery, New Year is a reminder of failed resolutions in past years and concerns of failure in the year to come. Was your husband returning to his job after a break over Christmas? Was there a parental visit involved between the 2 occasions? Are the concerns about your health worrying your husband? What was different B?
In recovery the CG takes responsibility for their actions but it is hard to forget the failures of the past at times like New Year
I think you can, in time, have it ‘all’ but you do need to stay strong and your husband, in my opinion, needs to get back in touch with his supporting network. Responsible behaviour grows with time but any perceived set-backs in life do cause the recovering CG to waver and I am not saying to crumble.
It seems to me he didn’t deal with all that he should have dealt with when he was in rehab – a counsellor can only deal with what is given to them but if the CG holds back there is nothing the counsellor can do. I think your husband needs steady and constant support, of the right type, so that given time all his underlying problems can be worked through. I don’t think this is your job – your job is to stay healthy and look after your unborn baby and your child.
I cannot tell you what to do, as you know B, but if it was me I would suggest firmly to him to return to his support groups and the counsellors at his rehab. My CG ‘knew’ that he could/should return to his support if/when he struggled, it was part of the whole recovery process – has your husband been given such advice?
Some of the ‘gambler only’ (evening in the UK) groups on this site are run by a CG who lives in control of his addiction and believes in constant support – he himself goes to GA without fail as well as being a facilitator. I think your husband could benefit from such a group. If you think this would be an option let me know and I will find out more or you can ask our helpline when it is open.
Hope to speak to you again soon
V