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#5668
velvet
Moderator

Hi BF
It seems to me you have made your informed decision.
I wonder if any CG is ever accepted wholly by everybody and that the past is truly eradicated within a social group, which makes me doubt the mindset of those who cannot conceive of the idea that it could have happened to them.
Recently I offered myself in a voluntary capacity to a Meeting Point in my market town, to support CGs and their families, (there is no GA or Gamanon where I live). The woman I spoke to gasped and turning on her heel said ‘we don’t have those sort of people here’ – she strutted away to her shuttered world and I felt pity for her because she was clueless. I understand your resentment with your family but I hope you can vent on here rather than at them – they are ignorant and afraid and anger won’t do you or your fiancé any good. I do hope for a good outcome for you all but I imagine it is going to take a while for there to be any healing. Unasked for, unconstructive criticism tells us a great deal more about the person doing the criticising.
I agree that sneaking around and lying is not a good way to live and maybe you have to make your stand sooner rather than later. I will be here for you whenever you want to talk and maybe, just maybe your family could be persuaded to post on this site and ask what it is all about rather than going off at the deep-end without any thought for you and your feelings. Our Helpline is there for them and there is nothing they have not heard before.
You don’t have to tell me that your fiancé is fantastic outside of his addiction; I have known many CGs who have changed their lives and used the experience of their addiction to live a better life.
Speak soon
Velvet