Hi Braze
It would be good to get an update.
Maybe next time he opens up you could tell him that you are listening. This is no reflection on what you have been doing but I would imagine that all F&F spend hours, days and weeks trying to talk to their loved one to no avail – I know I did.
Are you now handling his finances? Many CG find having their finances looked after really helpful – especially when they truly want to change but are struggling.
‘If’ your partner had gone into rehab he would have had to ask for money for whatever and say what he wanted it for and then when he returned from the shops a receipt would have been be required. It might sound as though they are being treated as children but those who accept it as a way forward know that they are not being treated as children but as human beings who need the right support to tackle an horrendous problem.
Yes change is needed but your partner has to want that change. When you are listening look for the little gems that say he is truly ready to accept and then perhaps ask for ways he feels you could support him best – obviously not by handing over cash on demand. Giving cash to a CG is the same as giving a drink to an alcoholic. He probably will get angry when he doesn’t get the money he wants and I know how hard it is to resist but if you want to stay with him he needs you on his side against his addiction and that takes enormous strength and determination. In my opinion, you will be amazed at the strength you have.
I wish you well
Velvet
