Hi BSports,
I have just read your thread and it sounds like you are being terribly hard on yourself. There is not one person in life who has not messed up and we are all just struggling through the ups and downs of life.
I guess what is hard for us to let go of is what could have been but we often fail to recognise it can still be . Debts don’t have to be paid in a year or two – they can drag on for ten quietly in the background while we enjoy a really good standard of living.
GA wasn’t for me for the possibly the same reasons as the man who annoyed you. I really only found some type of recovery when I started to have compassion for myself and started to see myself in a new positive light – calling myself a cg was unhelpful at best and felt like a self fulfilling prophesy. Having said that some people have managed to maintain a recovery through GA.
Counselling is a great move – I also find mindfulness really helpful in coping with the anxiety that gambling has left behind.
I also get the relationships thing – once we find recovery our relationships change -people in our lives have to readjust and now deal with the stronger, more assertive and gamble free us – the relationship is no longer about them picking up the pieces or playing the victim. They have a to find a new way of being with us if relationships / friendships are to survive .
You are doing amazingly well but please have compassion for yourself . Look inside yourself and really see the wonderful person that is in there- the person who despite being dealt the horrible blow of having this addiction still battles on bravely doing everything they can to beat this .
You deserve recovery !