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I always feel so negative posting a reply to a first-time poster. It is a very difficult addiction for both the CG and those that love them.
The bad news is that it is a very progressive disease. Once your CG has started lying about it is when its reached the addictive stage. They will lie and manipulate those around them to keep gambling. They can have you believing that it’s everyone’s fault but their own.
The gambler in my life is my 26 year old son. His addiction started at 18 years old and it has been a long haul. He too is a good hearted great guy but once they are in the grips of gambling you don’t see a lot of the good any more. When I first found out I thought I could fix it for him … make him see the light! That was not to be. It was almost 7 years before he was ready to try recovery with the help of GA. All I could do was stand by helplessly absolutely dumbfounded how such a smart, funny , handsome young man chose to throw his life and future away.
A compulsive gambler will only stop when they are ready. Nothing you can do, say, kindly suggest, or scream at them is going to help… they can not hear you.
The best thing you can do (which is incredibly hard) is to take the attention off them and start looking after your wants and needs. It is so easy to get pulled into the chaos which is their life and you will both end up drowning.
Start thinking about boundaries that you can set for yourself that can protect yourself both financially and emotionally. Keep writing/talking to find yourself support!