Hi Craig ,
You are not selfish – you have an addiction !
What has helped me in my recovery is understanding how the addiction manages to override all my good intentions – and understanding that I am a good, lovable person who deserves compassion not criticism.
The addiction however is a sneaky, manipulative beast who will do everything to destroy us.
Please put blockers on all your internet devices (I use gamban) and join Gamstop if you are in the U.K.
Make it impossible to gamble in whatever way you need to .
In the meantime perhaps you could get a counsellor to help you understand more about this disease and how to overcome it .
Keep strong and know that you are not alone in this .