Hi Dadda
It is a sad fact that gambling is becoming more and more invasive and that those of us who are trying to combat the evil side of it, including many CGs who are trying to control their addiction, have an uphill battle.
It is also a sad fact that the legal process is often unfair, powerless and pathetic.
Having said that I believe from your posts that you have a steely backbone and you will overcome. You have done nothing wrong but you have suffered firstly from a terrible addiction in your life and secondly from a wishy-washy legal system.
I remember when I didn’t know what it was that was wrecking my life; I searched everywhere for answers giving a full description of what was happening to me to medical professionals and counsellors but none of them came up with the addiction to gamble. I always came away feeling worse than I had before and more convinced that the problem was me. I only have to hear a few words now to recognise the addiction so why couldn’t’ they?
I believe it was one of the best days of my life when I found Gamanon, where people understood me. It was in Gamanon that I first heard about the addiction and how secretive everything about it was. I am very sorry to read that your experience with Gamanon wasn’t good. All groups are made up of individuals and there will always be ups and downs, good sessions and not so good, maybe you could try again or try another group – you do have so much to offer as well as needing well-deserved support.
I have taken the bad experience I had and tried to turn it into something good and I believe we all have the capability to do this, in fact I think we owe it to ourselves, after all the greatest revenge we can have on our unseen enemy is for us to be happy.
I hear your anger and empathise with it but I believe that your constructive activities can and will outweigh the destructiveness of the addiction that has sought to wreck your life – given time. Although you are divorced there is a tremendous residual pain which will subside but at the moment, it seems to me, you still feel you are in the eye of the storm. Your daughters are working their way through their experiences and they will do it differently to you but I am sure they will look to you to see how you cope.
Nothing you have said is out of line; there is never a need to apologise for speaking from the heart in this forum.
I know all about no-man’s land and I walk there now with my head up. I am not crazy, I have something to say that is unpalatable and many would prefer not to hear but I will not be silenced. I know I am only scratching at the surface but as long as I leave a scratch I am content that the addiction to gamble did not defeat me.
You have been heard Dadda – keep going, you will come through.