Encouraging a son to be a man or a daughter to be a woman does not mean that the addiction to gamble will not figure in that person’s life although I agree that babying peoples as they develop is not good. I cannot answer for your ex MIL but I do know that she did not ask for or want her son’s addiction and it would have caused her terrible pain resulting possibly in her own erratic, poor, behaviour – I cannot judge her.
I do know CGs put on shows to protect themselves just as those around them put on masks to protect themselves from feelings of shame and confusion. I am sorry your therapist left you feeling that you were expected to make up for the inadequacies in your relationship – that was not deserved. You were in a no-win situation and you in your turn had neither asked for nor wanted the addiction in your life.
‘If’ you feel you are hated then it is because of ignorance and ignorance of this addiction is world-wide. I know only too well the wall you have come up against – it is a wall that is recognised on this forum by every person who has loved a CG and I think it is good to speak out, whenever we can, to reach a wider audience.
It didn’t take fortitude to read your post – sadly your words were only too familiar. I fully understand you find it hard to see compulsive gambling as an illness – you are angry and you have a right to be. However, with understanding I think that most members who have passed through this forum and groups have come out stronger people. If we allow the addiction to ruin our lives once we have knowledge of it then the addiction, in my view, has won.
It is common for people to start a new thread after a major change, although many people stay with the same one so they can look back on their journey as a diary and see how far they have come. There is never anything to forgive on this forum – you are doing all that needs to be done. Keep posting and using your ability to articulate on behalf of those who have found themselves in the eye of the addiction storm.