Hi Determined
I’m glad you found this website too.
Compulsive gambling always comes from a recreational activity that others enjoy and often as long as enough money is earned to cover the losses many F&F are unaware that a serious problem could exist.
Contrary to the belief that most F&F have, in the early days – the addiction to gamble is not about money – it is the gamble that is all important and it is that which brings the mood swings, the dreadful behaviour and often the depression. What comes first, the depression or the addiction is often discussed in our forums – I do know that the addiction can cause depression because it brings nothing but feelings of failure and self-loathing to the person who owns it, day in and day out.
I am interested that your husband wants to make things good and is desperate to do so – has he taken any active steps towards controlling his addiction or is it just words? You say that you ‘need’ to get out even if he manages a few months or a few years – how true is this? A few years would be a good gamble-free life and one he would probably never give up.
I agree with Worriedmama that it is probably better if you take control of all of the finances while explaining to your husband that it is not a punishment but is the best way to support him in his desire to life in control of his addiction.
I would like to hear from you again before I write any more. I am not judging, I appreciate only too well the amount of damage your husband’s addiction has wrought and the possibility that you no longer love your husband but I also appreciate that your husband did not ask for or want his addiction anymore than you did. Knowledge of his addiction will give you power over it and help you cope.
Speak soon and if there is anything that you disagree with then come right back at me.
Velvet
