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I am sorry if you have had to make your decision before you had received a reply but I hope you will still be reading.

I have never known a compulsive gambler who has managed to control his addiction without treatment and I am afraid that your husband’s determination to keep his addiction a secret might stop him seeking the support he needs.

We have an excellent Helpline on this site Eho and we also have brilliant ‘gambler only’ groups facilitated by Charles who would welcome and understand your husband, if he does want support. It is anonymous, so none of this friends or work colleagues need know and he has nothing to lose by joining them – and possibly, everything to gain. It is common for those with serious gambling problems to want to keep what they are doing secret, either through shame or wanting enablement, and/or denying to themselves that they have an addiction.

I know that your husband can control his addiction Eho but he has to accept that he has a serious problem and be willing to seek help. I can’t tell you to leave or to stay Eho but even if you have caught the flight, I hope you will keep posting and possibly join the friends and family groups which are in real time and are private and safe.

Look after yourself and your children Eho