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Hi Ems
While your partner is getting support it can be very lonely waiting and not knowing and probably thinking ‘where is my support?’ Your support is here Ems and it will be here for as long as you want it.
When my loved one went through the programme I would telephone Gordon House (Now Gordon Moody) once a week for peace of mind – just to know he was still there and ok – they could tell me no more than that but it was enough. It isn’t possible for the support workers to spare the time to support the loved ones at home – they are doing the job at which they excel and that is why the programme is so successful.
I cannot tell you what to do but I hope to help you understand why looking after you is so important. Your partner needs to be selfish in his desire to change his life – he cannot sit still and he cannot afford to worry about those who love him. This is ‘your’ time to be selfish to do the things that you enjoyed before the addiction came into your life – to see friends, to enjoy pastimes and hobbies, so that when he comes home he can see that you have managed, that you are strong and a rock on which he can depend.
Stick with us Ems and gain strength and knowledge – your partner will need you to support him when he comes home. I spent 25 years doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons – there is much to learn. I do believe that the experience you will have been through with your partner’s addiction and the experience of him going through rehab can be life-changing for you as well as him. The greatest revenge on the addiction to gamble is to turn the bad experience into something good.
I am going away for the weekend but I wanted to get a post out to you before I went because I know the weekends can be so difficult. Please try and put yourself first, just as your partner has to do – believe me, it works Ems.
On Tuesday evening I have a Friends and Family only group between 8pm and 9pm and it would be great if you could join it – nothing said in the group appears on the forum – everything said is confidential.
I realise I haven’t told you much about what it is like in rehab and I have no more time tonight but suffice it to say your partner can regain his life as a result of going through the programme but it takes courage and dedication. In my opinion those who love CGs (compulsive gamblers) who go rehab need to have courage and determination too.
Well done writing your first post – it is always the hardest.
Speak soon