#3363
velvet
Moderator

Hi Fatima
As Jenny posted, you are in the right place to push your thoughts around and I hope you will write again soon so that we can support you as you deserve to be supported.
Nobody here would ever ask you to give someone up or not. What we offer is judgement free support so that you can make your own informed decisions because this is ‘your’ life.
I ‘know’ that the addiction to gamble can be controlled and wonderful lives lived as a result and I hope your husband can learn to change his life but you cannot make your husband stop gambling, only he can do that.
As Jenny has mentioned, looking after you is so important when an addiction is in your home. Addiction demoralises those around it and causes those who care to lose confidence and self-esteem. As time goes by, loving a CG (compulsive gambler) becomes increasingly difficult unless they accept they have an addiction and seek to change, so it is important that you keep your strength up, for both your sakes.
In a future post I will suggest to you ways of talking to your husband but at the moment he is obviously not listening to you and the following might be a way to communicate with him and hopefully let him know you are aware that he has a problem and that you are seeking help for yourself.
Click on ‘Resources’ at the top of the page and in the ‘Search by Keyword’ section type ’20 questions’. Click on the 3rd resource listed, ‘Gamblers Anonymous – 20 questions – World’ and then click on the link. I suggest it is good idea to print off the 20 questions listed and leave them where you husband can find them – maybe tick the answers to which you would say ‘yes’.
This is not a be all and end all solution but it is a positive step and will help you to know if he is compulsive or not by how many yeses you would award his behaviour.
I will send this reply now but there is a lot more support available to you.
I really do understand that you love your husband. I know CGs are not bad people but the addiction is bad and your husband’s addiction will take you down with it, if it can. You have been very brave writing this first post – well done. I look forward to supporting you further.
Velvet