#3586
velvet
Moderator

Hi GG
It is common that when a CG gets close to entering recovery that they act out in varying degrees. They are afraid to face the future without their addiction which they believe is of paramount importance to their well-being. I liken it to the loss of a best friend – the person you had confided in, loved and trusted more than anybody else. All your friends and family had told you that the friend was no good but it is hard for you to accept, especially during the break-up, when all you can remember is what you believe were the good times.
Your mum is facing a void in her life that she doesn’t yet know how to fill. Her counsellor cannot make your mum stop gambling but she should supply your mum with the tools to face her addiction, so that she can change herself.
Listening is an important support you can give your mum. Telling her you are there for her in her battle but letting her know that you are strong is good. The thing that struck me most when my CG entered his gamble-free life was that he had to learn to trust me. I was there to be absolutely honest but not judgmental. I was there to have compassion but not softness. I was there to give an ear but not enablement.
I would be delighted to meet you in the Friends and Family group on Tuesdays 20.00-21.00 hour UK time.
This will be a difficult time for you, never give up hope but keep your expectations quiet and avoid arguments that achieve nothing but loss of energy. Functional relationships do not come overnight following the experience you have had. You will probably feel impatient for change but your mum will have a greater impatience – you can both only take one day at a time (ODAAT).
Keep posting – you are doing well
Velvet