Hi Gidge
Admitting he has a problem is a big step in the right direction and I do understand his fear of losing his license if he is found out.
I am a great believer in those who have experienced addiction becoming counsellors but I do think it ‘can’ lead to a lack of support when problems like this arise so maybe it is an excuse not to seek professional help but maybe it isn’t’.
This site offers judgement free support with the added bonus of anonymity and I have had the pleasure to ‘see’ many CGs control their addictions as a result of being here. Would your husband consider joining one of our CG groups I will do a better check tomorrow but I have had a quick look and we have a Peer CG Support Group between 1pm and 2pm Chicago time on Fridays where the facilitator is a CG living in control of his addiction – your husband would be really welcome. Our help-line is open between 4am and 12 noon Chicago time – I wouldn’t for a minute suggest 4am but maybe the later morning times would be of interest –it is often manned by a CG living in control of his addiction.
I am glad that telling your family has helped you feel less alone – I hope that knowing that I understand, having stood in your shoes will support you too.
You recognise that unless you are really working on your programmes you won’t get what you need out of your meetings. We don’t work the 12 steps on this site but both CGs I have mentioned have done so and one I am aware still does I worked the 12 steps in Gamanon so the understanding is here for you even if we have a different approach.
You obviously understand enablement – money to a CG is the same as a drink to an alcoholic. Your family have done well in the way they are supporting you.
Are his billiard’s team mates aware that he has a gambling addiction? He doesn’t have to wait till after the tournament to start his gamble-free life even if he hasn’t self-banned.
With the support that you are offering, your husband’s admission of the problem and his knowledge it seems to me that he could do with being given a direction in which to move whereby he doesn’t lose his license which obviously gives him some self-esteem although I suspect it is low. His confidence in himself I would imagine is poor – he ‘knows’ more than most what he is doing to himself.
I hope to be able to talk to you in real time soon but in the meantime all our facilities are open for you and your husband – the helpline is there for you too.. In my opinion the sooner he takes his leap of faith the better for him and for you – taking one day at a time makes the impossible achievable.
I think you are doing really well.
Velvet
