nomore 56

Hi Gidge, I remember what it was like with the elephant in the room. Afraid to say something to avoid the hurt and the angry outbursts. Steaming inside, scared and alone. Your hb might know how bad the finances are but he will not think about for one second when it comes to gamble away what little he has. Reality doesn’t exist anymore and can be explained away and ignore. The worse it gets the bigger the need to forget everything and chasing the one big win needed to make everything right. And it will come for sure, sooner or later. The only thing you can do is to take care of yourself right now. Protect the money as good as you can, at least from now on. A lot of people do not understand that a cg cannot just quit on the spur of a moment. It is hard to since there is no substance involved. I still have trouble to understand the delusional state my hb was in for so long and that even a prison sentence he got for embezzlement did not do the trick. I just want to share with you what I told him when I had reached my point of no return. I told him that I will refuse to be dragged into that mess even for one more day. That I would not give him a single penny anymore and that he had to make a choice. Either get into treatment and work on his recovery or get away from me. That I was tired of the lies and the promises, all of which were just created to noodle more money out of me. That i was sorry it got to that point but that I was just so tired and worn out that no matter what he decided, I would not continue to live this nightmare. I felt really peaceful and calm inside even though I was financially dependent on him. I just couldn’t do it anymore. This issue with his license is a good excuse for him to not do anything, to not seek help, to not tell anyone. But at the end of the day what good does his license do him when he starts missing work or doesn’t to a good job anymore because he is occupied with his gambling? Cgs are sooo good playing with our minds and manipulating the hell out of us. Be strong and treat YOURSELF kindly!