It is so much easier to avoid the elephant in the room rather than confront it when the elephant is an active, manipulative addiction. However I agree with you that he should know the extent of the financial damage his poor behaviour has brought to your home.
If it was me I would leave the paperwork evidence where he couldn’t fail to see it rather than trying to talk him about it. I would also leave details of support groups for him.
It is my belief that it is good for a CG to know when their loved one is seeking help, showing that they are taking it seriously. I am sure you are aware of the 20 questions – gamblers anonymous also have the 20 questions and they can be found in our Resources at the top of this page. Click on ‘Gambling Help’ in Category, in Location click on ‘World’ and in search by keyboard click on ’20 questions’. Maybe if you printed this off it would show him that you were actively working on supporting him.
Well done telling his friends that he has a problem – you are doing everything right for him.
Living with this addiction is exhausting – the unnecessary lies can give you sleepless nights and that doesn’t help anybody. Please try and make time for yourself every day when his addiction does not fill your head. Looking after ‘you’ will always be the best thing you can do for him and you.
I have another F&F only group again tomorrow (Thursday) at 4pm Chicago time although I understand that you are looking after your boys this week – how old are they?
Keep posting – you will wake up from the nightmare.