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Hi Grasshopper,

Thanks for your kind words and good advice.
My husbands still remains gamble free. He attends his GA meetings twice a week and the aftercare programme once a week. It has become our new normal.
I suppose looking back over the last few months I have come to realise how lucky I was that I was not financially dependent on my husband. we have shared financials on our household but I have always been the higher earner which has thankfully covered all the bills with lower contributioNs from himself while he sorts through his debts.
I still struggle every day with my decision to stay. I am getting better at staying in the moment but it would be a lie to say I dont have more bad days than good. But I suppose hes only been home from rehab 8 months-a lifetime of trust was destroyed and it will not be easy to get it back overnight.
Im not sure why Im posting again but I felt compelled to. Maybe because I want to share that there seems to be hope again. I know every day brings a new battle but Im tired of being afraid. I just want to live without looking over my shoulder or is that awareness now something I need to accept as normal in order to keep myself safe?