You are going through it, but you are doing this and doing it well. When I read your last two posts I am sorry to say they seem just oh so familiar. His words stink of manipulation too me, or shall I say his lies do ! I’m sorry if i’m sounding a little blunt or even harsh towards him.

I can also tell in your posts that your own voice inside your head is talking to you and telling you the truth in all of this. I don’t think anyone really knows why someone would go and waste their money like this, many CGs will tell you that they don’t understand it so how on earth are you supposed to. You could ask this question for years and never find the answer – its not worth burning out your mind trying to work it out.

Often Hope, gambling addiction is not about the money, it is about the gamble. Money is a tool that the addiction needs in order to gamble, it isn’t the focal point or the goal, much of the time.

I think anyone who’s never lived with the addiction to gamble would never be able to comprehend the real enormity of it all and its ability to cause such destruction. You didn’t sign up for this and neither would he have done and certainly no one would or should blame you if you ran like hell.

Don’t be fooled in to thinking he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing in justifying his recent actions, he will know because he will have spent hours thinking about the best thing to say to make him self appear to be quite justified in his actions and you to end up feeling you got something badly wrong! I don’t think you’ve got your thoughts wrong but it is the next few actions that will count I think.

Sometimes, I remember Velvet saying to me and several others that when we don’t know what to do it is best to do nothing, as difficult as that maybe it works. Plus It is infuriating to people who are waiting for your usual predictable reactions !!

Action however is what you need to see, depending on what it is that you decide to do, if you cut out all the usual bluster and noise and a bit of screeching, what has he actually done that would lead you to believe he wants to change ?

Has he picked up the phone, attended a meeting or looked on this site without you telling him he should seek help ? Sorry has little meaning but actions speak a lot louder than words.

I don’t want to influence you one way or the other really, except to say stick to your guns and don’t move 1mm on anything you have decided upon. Take time out and don’t listen to the crap.

You don’t need luck hope, you need a clear mind

Jenny x