Hi Injamea
I gambled compulsively for an entire decade, and looking back the things which kept me trapped in the cycle were shame and embarrassment. I was too embarrassed to seek the help I needed.
Reading your story I feel a very positive step for you would be to go and self-ban from all local casinos. Sure you will feel embarrassed at the time but you will also feel hugely relieved..
Most of us need barriers to help us stop – this is usually MAT- money, access, time .
A few thing I have done which might help you –
I ordered a new debit card and got someone else to open it and scratch off the back three numbers. I can still use it in shops but cannot gamble online.
I put gamban (gambling blocker) on my phone – I told myself for years I could not afford it and yet it has saved me thousands as I can not gamble online.
I speak to a counsellor almost every week to help me stay focused.
I also visit the groups on here – there are species groups for new members.
You can stop gambling -if I can anyone can. Make it impossible to gamble !
It takes a little time for our finances to recover but they will.
By the way you have not lost the chance to be a husband or father. You have simply put it on hold.
As for attractiveness – once we have money to spend on grooming and clothes it is amazing how attractive we become!
I have great hope for you and your future Injamea!