I’m not sure where you are in the world but when I got divorced, my youngest child’s welfare was the court’s primary concern. Everything revolved around him first, where he was going to live, how we would both support him financially, access was not an issue. It might be worth finding out the law of the land in relation to child custody?
My cg is my son and letting him drop to rock bottom was heart wrenching possibly one of the most distressing experiences in my life.
No one can tell you what to do, but reading this post I think you have possible made up your mind already. Keep strong for your daughter’s sake.
I am a child minder as well and I think the little boy I look after (4 years old) is well adjusted so if you go down that route a good child minder can be a good option. Best wishes San