Hi James
Living in a state of anxiety for 10 years is quite long enough and I think it is good that you are seeking on the ground support for yourself especially as your family appears to be lacking in support for you. The addiction to gamble is divisive and I certainly don’t see why a discussion to remarry would help you at the moment.
This site can only really support you with the addiction to gamble and cannot comment on your legal system and/or the possibilities of what you could request from a judge.
I noticed that you posted on Thursday when I was facilitating a live group which you would have been welcome to join – we could have communicated in real time if you had wanted to do so and maybe this is something for you consider in the future.