The reason you are so calm James is because finally the addiction is beginning to leave your mind, and although you still question yourself, deep down you know that the decisions you are making are right for you.
You now accept, although it worries you still that the likelihood is she will gamble all that money and that if she does, then those will be her consequences to live with, they will not be yours.
She however is losing her grip and control, she has lost the ability to make you dance to her tune. The combative behaviour is in my opinion a very well used tool of the addiction – the content of her communication is without a doubt both manipulative and very typical of an addiction scorned. The thing is its no longer working !! and all credit to you for getting to that point, you’ve certainly been through it just lately. Never forget that this addiction is a first class manipulator, keep that at the forefront of your mind if you do really have to have a conversation.
As for whether she is telling the truth or not? well that’s a hard one ! Do compulsive gamblers tell lies ? I think we all know the answer to that one. I found it easier to believe everything was a lie – just think of the pleasant surprise you’ll have when you are told the truth one day.
I totally understand your need to be on your own and speaking from experience it can be the best thing going, giving your brain that chance to cool off. A chance to get it all in perspective.
It may not feel like it James, but you are doing this and you are coping well. I think that not only do we develop a distrust of others but also one of ourselves and our own ability to be confident in us.
You may still question yourself for sometime unfortunately, but it does go James, it will end eventually.