When you don’t know what to do, I believe, it is best to stand still and do nothing until you know.
You have learned things about your wife’s addiction that she is unable to tell you. Perhaps you could go to http://www.gamblersanonymous20questions.org and print off the questions. Tick the ones that you think she should say yes to and leave it for her to see.
Many CGs are not aware that their addiction is recognisable and that they are not alone. In my opinion it is good that an active CG learns that their loved one is seeking help. CGs do not tend to understand that those around them need protection and support from the addiction that they own.
I understand only too well that an active addiction can feel like it has destroyed love. It is good that you can feel safe enough to voice your concerns here that you are not sure if you love your wife anymore because there is never any judgement on this site and nobody would ever tell you to leave her.
Active CGs do not make good friends – they want enablement and not willing to share or give.
Keep posting, keep reading, perhaps you could contact our helpline or join our F&F groups.
It is fairly common for CGs to find GA tough and to say that they do not have the same problem as the other members. I would imagine their problems brought home to her that they were also her problems but at that time she was not willing to hear.
Anything that helps you overcome your anxiety must be good. You need a clear head to make your decisions and to support your wife.
Whatever you do there will be no judgement her but I hope you will stick around a little longer so that you decisions will be informed.