Hi James
As I have written before to you, unfounded suspicion is not good for you or your wife.
Coming to America unable to speak the language must have been a very difficult and lonely experience for your wife but it seems she is now trying to improve her life. If she is a compulsive gambler who has taken control of her addiction then she is to be commended because that takes great courage and leaves me wondering why you want to leave now?
Did you look at Gamblers Anonymous 20 questions as I suggested? Is your wife displaying other addictive behaviour that you find unacceptable?
If it is your anger and anxiety holding your recovery back then maybe a support group or psychiatrist would help you to cope better. You are financially stable and if, as it seems from your post, your wife is doing all she can to lead a decent life, what is stopping you playing golf or fishing with your friends?
Post again soon James and look after youself.