Hi Jason!
I saw your name in the chat earlier but missed you.
I am a compulsive gambler and like you I was surprised to find myself on a Gambling Therapy Site posting those very words.
Gambling is a complex issues Jason and I always say there is only one thing worse than being a CG and that is being married to one! I honestly don’t know how my husband lived/lives with me when I am in the “active phase” of this illness! It transforms us into what I could only describe as a “she devil”!
I do believe it is an illness Jason. It takes hold of us and pulls us powerfully into places and situations that no “normal” person would ever dream of going . It is progressive. It escalates fast once we lose control and it ruins lives. The good news is, however , that a Cg can stop gambling and we can stay stopped. You will read lots of recovery stories on the Journal Section of this Forum. Many CGs have succeeded in staying Gamble Free for years. My own recovery has been rocky. Not due to lack of knowledge or support, but through lack of discipline and effort on my part.
You wife appears to be in a very bad place right now. As a CG I can feel her panic and overwhelming desperation. When I needed to gamble I created scenes which led to chaos and confusion by magnifying the most minor flaws in my husband and family and projecting my own issue onto others to the extent that my husband would be in such a state of confusion he would be reduced to the level of a wimp, I am very ashamed to admit that at this point I would resort to manipulation and my new found “power” would give me the opportunity to flee to the nearest casino acting like a victim of his “unfair or shoddy handling ” of whatever situation we were dealing with. In other words I create drama as an excuse to gamble.
It seems to me that your wife is using a similar tactic!
Velvet will give you all the “self help skills” you need Jason.
You ask what can you do to STOP your wife gambling.
As a CG I will give you a short answer
“Nothing”!
Look after yourself Jason or you will find yourself being sucked in by this powerful force which will fast become beyond everyone’s control.
You wife will stop gambling only when she becomes SICK of what it is doing to her and to her loved ones.
I hope it will stop before everything ends in tears!
God bless!