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#4160
velvet
Moderator

Hi Jenny
You were missed last night.
I was concerned that he wanted your bank details and I am pleased that it seems he wanted them for a good reason, however, I do wonder whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to open another account that he knows nothing about. I may be over-cynical but I think it is always best that CGs do not have access to pin numbers but also that they do not know where any money may be saved. Keep the account open of which he now knows the details but don’t save the majority of your money in it.
His lies on social media are totally in keeping with his addiction, I couldn’t begin to hazard a guess as to why he should do this but weird though it is, this behaviour does not surprise me in any way. Reacting as you did is understandable but I think, now you have recorded this behaviour, you will not fall for it again – it is so wearing playing the detective and it leaves you feeling down – don’t worry most F&F, in this situation, have done it!
The other thing that I think most, if not all, F&F have done is to cry for the loss of their loved one. Even when all the bad stuff is heaped upon you, the memories rise up and the tears come, personally I think it is right that they do because you are grieving and grieving is painful and takes time – but does pass
Your reality at the moment seems bleak but through it all you are successfully running your home and caring for your children, that is how you will succeed.
It is sadly possible that bailiffs will call at your door, they are a bit ferocious, they have to be, but I have approached many doors with bailiffs and they did have hearts, they just kept them well-hidden. Do not let them in; they do not have the right to force entry but they can enter doors that are open or unlocked. It is their job to demand payment on behalf of creditors who want their money and although it is terribly embarrassing for you, for them it is all in a day’s work. Talk to your local CAB about this.
Positive thoughts do desert us at times but hopefully they will soon return and life will be easier. Recording what is going on in your life as you are doing is great, you can look back and say ‘wow – I got through that – I can do this’. I already know you can do it Jenny.

Marilyn Monroe was right.

Speak soon
V