Hi Jenny
I hope those boys were behaving themselves upstairs – Detective Jenny is a formidable force.
You may have noticed that I have not jumped on your thread – nay I am positive you will have noticed but I am also sure that you will know that I have been watching, just as I noticed when you stopped writing.
I could never judge as you know – the piece of elastic you were attached to was far too familiar! It is extremely hard to get yourself into a position where you can cut yourself completely free and there is no shame in believing you have done it only to find yourself being pulled back again.
The addiction doesn’t burst into a life with a fanfare – it works subtly, gradually demoralising its victim over years and yet one hopes, expects even, that recovery will be easy. You have been a fantastic supporter all through your attempts to find your own recovery – it is a method I recognise and sometimes I knew you were using it, sometimes I wasn’t sure.
I feel you have chopped through the bungee rope that was pinging you back and forth – there is strength in your words and in your support for others that is far stronger but please look after yourself first. These are not idle words – having you here supporting as you do is amazing but always, always take support too.
Unfortunately in our site transition, the posts on the Topic forum disappeared. It is still hoped they can be re-found. My favourite was always the ‘Wounded Healer’- it was the one that made me stop and think the most (about myself too) and I think it is great that one post that has transferred well was written by you in August 2012 – it is annoying that asterisks blot out words such as ‘needs’.
The addiction to gamble can ruin your life or you can use it as the greatest experience you will ever have. I know you can be healed from the wounds it inflicts but they are deep and they do seep and can re-open many times before they can be declared healthy and free of re-infection. I have re-read your post in the Topic Forum a few times and knowing now that it was written by a person whose wounds were open, I want you to know that I am here for you and that in a group you can be totally open – I can’t believe I am saying that to you but I hope you will take it in the spirit with which it is meant – I know you will tell me if you have any problem with my words.
I am absolutely delighted you are supporting others but please allow me and others to support you.
Next group is January 1st a New Year and new hope. Let’s make it a good one