Just wanted to say ‘hello’. Your list of questions struck a chord with me. I believe as we go through the transitions of being a victim into survivor and then into thriver, some of us have a need to reflect on what’s gone before and come up with all these questions. At the time it is important to have the answers, or it seems that way, however when you are further down the road you understand you do not really need to know the answers and that everything that has happened HAD to happen to bring you where you are today.
If you hold on to it all, it can eat you up and you will not be able to move on. When you are ready to, let it go and discover a new type of freedom (it’s waiting for you).
We can only ever be responsible for ourselves no one else. Someone once told me that by rescuing other people, we do in fact stop them from growing (taking responsibility for themselves). Well the thought I was stopping someone from growing was enough to stop me in my tracks. It’s the same for children they love to be able to do things for themselves (if they are allowed to without criticism). And what a great gift to give a child to be able to cope with this world.
I don’t believe a child who has witnessed a gambling household will not be affected in some way, but a strong mother who has worked on her own recovery, has to be a better option than a mother who turned a blind eye to the problem?? Stay strong Jenny and work towards becoming a thriver by looking after YOU first. Best wishes San x