Good to hear from you. I didn’t read anything that should make you unpopular ! in fact I remember one of the first replies I ever had on this forum many years ago in which I was told to “run like hell and never look back ” no mention of supporting from the side lines etc – do I wish I’d listened? well yes I do, I would have saved myself and my children a lot of grief and financial difficulties.
I still believe that we all have to go through our own process to come to the right conclusions, at the right time for us and I know I now suffer from impatience and intolerance of addiction in general whereas far from “running like hell” I personally limped through my own journey, probably looking like some bizarre example of how to lose a three legged race !!! I too feel like I would love to say “run like hell to people ”
I have no contact with my CG what so ever if I can help it, not because I hate him ( which I don’t) or I wouldn’t like to be amicable but because I still fear/respect the addiction and its ability to manipulate any situation / conversation it gets its grubby little paws on.
It is interesting how when we get in a ‘normal’ environment our own situation just seems to become more and more strange and bizarre and as you say when we are in the middle of it all despite what others say it is very difficult to truly see what is going on.
I think it is only recently that I truly understood what looking after me meant and often remind myself to do exactly that.
That’s what I would say to you Jilly – keep looking after you at every opportunity, recovery doesn’t end with the relaitionship – keep working at it and things can only get better.