Firstly, well done on coming on to the forum and welcome. The thing with gambling is that it is a vicious cycle of win lose lose lose win a little and before we know it we are broke and all of our savings and salary are thrown into gambling. The depression aftermath of massive losses lasts far Longer than any win with the depression and tears. Compulsive gambling g is a progressive illness with a very long trap door to a bottomless pit ending up for some in prison, insanity and suicide. We have to stop that cycle and work as hard on our recovery as we did in gambling. With losses, the only way is acceptance, within yourself. The money is gone, you won’t be getting it back and trying to only perpetuates the horrible cycle. Compulsive gamblers never win, we have to accept that we are powerless over gambling.
Have you been to GA? Meetings are not happening during lockdown but they have online groups. Try going to Charles facilitated groups on this site, there are particular ones for new members on a Monday and Thursday evening.
Look, for me, and I am much older than you, it will also take me ten years to climb out of the gambling mess I created. I accept I created a mess and am powerless over gambling. I accept the losses. I am a compulsive gambler which means I can never ever win. But you can start to become gf, try and get some on line counselling during the lockdown, there are always reasons, sometimes many, why we became a compulsive gambler. We also cannot do this on our own, we need support.
Restrict access to gambling, are you able to do that? Since there isn’t any sport happening right now, I imagine it would be fairly easy to do that?
I am now two years eight months gf. It is possible to be happy in recovery and it is possible to not worry too much or have regret about the massive losses and the debts. What matters is what we do today and keep doing one day at a time.