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Hi Jolene

I do not need to meet you to know that your son’s behaviour does not reflect his upbringing.  PLease believe me when I say that your son’s addiction is not your fault, you could not have stopped him becoming a compulsive gambler.

Your son didn’t deliberately set out to get himself into a mess with gambling, he could not have known when he started playing poker that for him gambling was not something he could pick up and put down at will.  He doesn’t cope well with calm discussions because he will perceive such discussions as ways by which you try to get him to stop gambling, thus proving, in his mind, that you do not understand him.  His way of dealing with this is to become angry and manipulative to distract you. 

Sadly your son does not understand himself, he is confused; he will almost certainly be lacking in self esteem because the nature of the addiction is that he will ultimately fail every time he gambles.

I hope that maybe you will sleep better knowing that there is somebody who understands what you are going through and who knows that your son can control his addiction and live an amazing life, possibly more amazing for having taken on such a destructive demon and won. 

It won’t be easy Jolene for you, or for him.   It is so hard to understand his thinking that only poker will allow him to become financially stable but knowing what he is thinking will help you do the right things.    Knowledge of his addiction will give you power over it and help you cope.


I will leave this first reply to you there – I wanted to let you know that you had been heard and understood.

I will write again soon and I hope you will keep posting.