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Hi Jordan
Beware of highs before there has been a very long term commitment to a recovery. Possibly you were reaching your wife, it is probably impossible to tell – but that in itself is not enough to believe that her addiction is being controlled. Abstinence is not recovery – what was she doing that gave you hope?
I was hoping when you read all your replies that you would understand that your wife does not deliberately seek to hurt you, she is not in control of her life and at the moment, she is not hearing your words as you mean them.
It is difficult when a CG is earning a lot of money for them to realise what their addiction is doing to their minds, often they lose their jobs as a result of their addiction and that is often the best thing that can happen. It might well be that as long as she has money to ‘throw around’ she will not be ready to accept she has lost control. If her behaviour in other ways is causing disruption and misery to her son and to you, those are the issues to be tackled. Tell me about her behaviour other than the gambling. Does she get angry, does she lie about things for not reason at all, does she look after her friends, is she good at her job, is she a good mother?
How have you got on treating her addiction as a beast? Have you stood back and listened to her rather than telling her what she needs to do? My CG informed me that when I telling him what ‘he needed’ to do I was talking about my needs – he said it was ‘my need’ that wanted him to change but that in his world he ‘needed’ to gamble – so my words were wasted. Understanding the addiction will help you cope.
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