Hi Kathryn,
It did not felt the same on that morning. I lost my peace and tolerant, I was more affected than usual.
My awareness was not like this all the times, I can remember many periods in my life that I lost myself totally, I was blind to what is happening and get into all sort of troubles.
If I did not put in an effort and try to make adjustment to myself, if I continue to make the mistake of only focusing on the problem and losing my focus on recovery, these problem can grow serious and take control of me. My awareness and mindfulness would be heading down hill, I wouldn’t be able to see that I am getting into trouble.
It was all about changes, things around me change and it makes me very uncomfortable, many times I do not adapt to changes quick enough.
I can either allow the latest change to destroy me or walk away. I spoke to the management that there are too many things for me to do in too little time for a new staff. I explain to them what are the things and I needed more time to adapt. They told me not to rush and take my time.
Had I not stop myself, I would have likely given myself more unrealistic expectations;
rushing and stressing myself up…
I did not allow “change” to destroy me this time and I did not walk away. I made a decision. I stop and take a closer look at the many new changes taking place around me and slow down.
It was a tough week but a good week at work in the end.
I can feel that I am slowly progressing in recovery again after a period of backsliding. The calm, peace, joy and freedom is slowly returning. For this, I am grateful and contented but all is not perfect, I notice that I have been eating a lot lately for comfort due to the stress.
