Hi KB
Whilst I’m staff at Gambling Therapy, I’m also a Gambler who hasn’t gambled for some time, The ladies and gents on friends and family forum will be with you the whole way, as will the rest of us within Gambling Therapy.
I try and back away from F&F as in all honesty they know more about living with a gambler than a gambler can comprehend, but you’ve hit on a few points that I’d like to reply too.
You said ” If my words are being distorted is there anything I can say?” the truth, No, remember that if your arguing or discussing with someone whose mind frame is illogical and distorted then how can a logical mind understand their answers, to you its incomprehensible, this will just round in a cycle until if an argument hasn’t started one probably will, that doesn’t mean you give in it means you have to learn coping skills to help you
Does a distorted gambler whose manipulating, distorting know or be able to control their words, the chances are no they can’t control it, irrespective if they know their right or wrong, the addiction is just that strong.. at the end of my gambling life of 25 I did start to see things from the other side, but even then I still needed professional help as well as support groups to get to an understand what I was doing and how to help me think rationally and logically to remove these traits and thoughts and suppress my addiction
What May really help you is to use the F& F groups but also use the community groups, whilst the F&F groups are 100% F&F the community groups
are for Gamblers and those affected, there also moderated but mostly the CG’s within our site are so serious about their recovery their very open to
talking about how they feel… you have the opportunity to talk to gamblers and ask them how they feel, how they reacted. This is something that may just help you more than you realise
KB, the following link is to a brilliant website, it explains how to talk, the do’s and don’ts… and you can always pop onto the helpline and talk
http://www.responsiblegambling.org/get-help/for-someone-else-who-gambles
Take Care KB, you’ve 13000 members all behind you now, your never alone and the answers are normally always here
Take Care
Harry