Thank you for posting. I wonder if you have your own thread? I notice that your post is right in the middle of Neecy’s thread, but maybe you need to write your own as well as communicating with Neecy on hers, otherwise things may get lost or muddled.
It sounds like you have had a real disappointment recently and perhaps need some support again about coping with this and the longer-term? In your terms you are ‘placing him (your husband) at the foot of the cross’, so you are recognizing that you cannot control this addiction, nor the cg. Are you also ensuring that you are looking after yourself? – financially, emotionally, physically?