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Hi Kirin
I have posted our customary welcome message to you so that you know you have been heard and understood.
I like to give a lot of thought to my replies because that is what those who approach this forum deserve so I will post to you again as soon as possible.
In the meantime, well done writing your first post, I would imagine it was very difficult for you to write. There is often a lot of misplaced loyalty when it comes to talking about close family members which sadly gives the addiction, which thrives on secrecy, room to grow.