I am glad to say I read your thread tonight!
Don’t worry about the fish-just because you are in financial trouble doesn’t mean that you can’t splurge on a nice meal. Self depravation is a CG trate-we squeese pennies then burn dollars! Money will have meaning again. I bought myself a dress and a new rug today. If I had gambled I would have spent at least 5 times what I spent today and would have nothing to show for it.
Banning from the casino was a Godsent to me. It helped alot-but it won’t stop you forever. It’s like a diet Kpat-you can’t starve for the rest of your life. Have you thought about GA? Walking through that door might be the hardest thing you ever do. We have a couple in our group. They have 13 years “clean” in a couple of weeks. I read about the strong CG connections in the family. I have CG relatives but more common are drug and achcohol problems. It’s taken me YEARS to even start to address my real issues and why I gambled in the first place. I am in a better head space for sure. If not GA I know of a program called “Celebrate Recovery”-that is a 12 step group run in Christian groups to cover all kinds of issues.
Also, some more unsolicated advice-Melody Beatty-She is fantastic! I got most of my books 2nd hand online or at the thrift. I learned so much about myself and co dependency that is was frightning! Learning about recovery helped me alot.
Congrats on your clean time! Days make weeks-weeks make months-months make years-and years make up a life time! All one day at a time!
bettie
