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#37207
Rose29
Participant

you are absolutely right. nobody gets it. my family know i have this problem. Everyone thinks it’s just something that i WANT to do. but i don’t. it’s controlling me. They tell me you have your family that is more important you will lose everything if you continue down this road JUSt stop. I tried to just stop. but I’m constantly thinking about going back and finding excuses to go. I know what i have to do. But my mind just won’t do it. Last night i sat just looking at the people at the casino after i lost all my money something i never did. because my husband said stay where you are don’t come home you made your choice to not come home. he was right. i don’t blame him. i sat there and i watched these people (me really) some i’ve seen many times there before. we are all either happy for that second when we get to that hit that button and get the high and miserable and so depressed when it’s all gone. I don’t know why i’m doing this to myself. i have two young children and i need to clear my mind of this and become a “normal” person. I’m hoping this is the answer.